Pointers for Eli Part I

Last week Eli had his initial evaluation at the Center for his Occupational Therapy. It was pretty interesting. The occupational therapist assigned to him we can call as Teacher Chola, interviewed me first about my observations with Eli.

At first while she was interviewing me, Eli can't keep himself on his seat. He would stand up, go out of the cubicle and would join in on other student's activities. Later on, he was made to play. The first few activities were fine but the last 15 minutes, he was crying and screaming all because of a crayon. Since he doesn't talk or communicate, the way he would express himself is through a meltdown which can be mistaken as tantrum fits. 

Yesterdays session was a crying fit because of one little cookie he brought to his one on one class. and today, well, it was because he just simple doesn't want to do the activity his teacher is assigning him. 

So far, even in just a short span of time I can see some improvements on Eli. I guess it's more of me learning how to handle my son, and learning how to help him manage his behavior and compliance.

Here are some of the things I learned and been taking as pointers for Eli:

1. Know the reason behind the tantrum fits or the meltdown. The usual reason for Eli to cry is because he was not able to get what he wants or he might be having a hard time. For a child living with the spectrum, some tantrums are attention seeking. Let the child cry it out whatever it is. Just be on the lookout that he doesn't hurt himself. 

DO NOT CALL HIS NAME OR MAKE ANY SOUNDS THAT WOULD GIVE HIM ANY IDEA THAT YOU ARE CONSIDERING HIM BEING AROUND AND CRYING. He will eventually stop when he gets tired. Note: May take a few minutes, or a few hours and some painful to the ear scream. Good thing about Eli is he doesn't cry too long.

2. Obedience. Eli doesn't know how to obey commands. at least not yet. A child like Eli needs to be guided every step of the way. You simply do not talk to him and just point at things, he will not follow what you say, and doesn't know what or how to do what you just told him. 

INSTEAD, If you give him a task to follow, and he is not doing anything about it. Go to him and take his hand and guide him. COMPLETE YOUR INSTRUCTION. Example: If I want him to pack away his toys, and he's not following. I would go right behind him, take both his arms and guide it to a toy to pick up and put in the box, one by one until he will be able to store them all in, then, I will have him push the box near the wall where is is placed to park. There should be a clapping after for a job well done.

3. Compliance. Eli is easily distracted. He doesn't try to finish a task that he is doing if there are other things that comes up unexpectedly, he'll give the new distraction his attention. 

With this, a RE-ENFORCEMENT is needed. This could be in a form of a reward, Example: Since Eli likes to brush his teeth, (for some reason that he only knows, he asks for a toothbrush and a toothpaste even before meals, after and in between) I have to make him finish doing a certain task first before giving in to his toothbrush request, and that would be "finish eating your meal first then we brush your teeth." In this case brushing teeth is the re-enforcement / reward.

4. Prepare Eli if there are any changes to his routine / planned to do list. People living with the spectrum get anxious for any unplanned changes that occurs from their plans/routine. I made a mistake yesterday by not informing him that when we get to the center, he will be with somebody else except me the whole one hour schedule of his session. I guess part of his crying was because I was not in sight and he was dealing with a stranger who makes him do all sorts of activities.

5. Re-enforcement doesn't always have to be food. Children living with the spectrum are not dogs or cats or other animals, that you have to feed him a treat every after they obey whatever it is you want them to do. Their reward can come in a form of hug, a tickle or a praise, and sometimes it's their favorite thing. In Eli's case his favorite thing is either Baby TV viewing or toothbrush with a toothpaste... and chocolate milk.

This is what I learned so far and there will be many more things to come in the future. Good luck with me and my husband in all of this.