Different Not Less

When Eli was not yet diagnosed of his autism spectrum, I use to get this usual conversation among parents like me at home, church and other places:

Other person: How old is your little boy?

Me: He's 1 year old and nine months.

Other person: and he does not speak yet?

Me: No.

Other person: My son/daughter can already speak / utter a lot of words when he/she was one. 

Me: Oh, I don't know, maybe my son is just delayed in his speech. He'll speak in time (hoping)

Other person: Oh yah! some kids are just simply delayed in their speech, he'll catch up.

Now that we are aware of his diagnosis, I was only asked once so far the same question (it happened at his pediatrician's clinic) in which I replied: "No, he's just been recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder;" then the rest just followed. Thankfully, the pediatricians secretary didn't mind his sudden lying on the floor and loud short scream while waiting for our appointment.  

Eli has just been recently diagnosed but the doctor did not classify him yet as to what level of autism he is in the spectrum. Though I am not the kind of person who cares too much about labels, at this point in time. I would like to think that he is in the higher level, and this is why I think so...to explain Eli, he is non-communicative towards us or anyone at all. The only way he expresses himself is by grabbing me in the arm and place my hand on a certain thing he wants me to hand him, like the fridge door (signifies he either wants food or water) or our tv's power on button. 

But Eli can read. Concepts that is. He began to read at 2 years and six months. One night when my husband took our laptop to type he was reading the letters that are appearing on the screen. After a few weeks, he was sight reading words, some words are a bit biggy for his age like, January or elephant but nevertheless he can read! Even his OT teacher said that she find Eli a smart boy, and that he can be trained, so that makes me happy.

My son may not be termed as quote and quote, normal but he is not less of a person. His development maybe delayed in speech. behavior and social skill. but I am still so grateful the God sees him perfectly. He's simply different.

I might still get asked in the future of the same question, and may also be followed why my son is non-communicative. I'm already formulating this idea in my head as to how I should reply.

Other person: How old is your little boy?

Me: He's almost three..

Other person: and he does not speak yet?

Me: No.

Other person: My son/daughter can already speak / utter a lot of words when he/she was one. 

Me: Oh, but my son began to read words when he was two, did your child began reading at age two also?

Now how is that even possible? We'll, only Eli's Heavenly Father knows. I tried to record him in a video earlier today just to keep a memory of him reading at an early age, but he seems to be not up to it today and easily gets distracted by the camera phone. Maybe I'll get lucky next time, If I do, I'll post it on my next blog.

Reading the Wrong Parenting Book

Three weeks ago, I was invited over email by Joyla Ofrecia to a Seminar that was held yesterday. At first I was hesitant if I would have to but since I thought that my husband's paycheck was able to stretch out for me to pay the fee, I gave in. I decided to attend only a week after Eli's diagnosis, and only informed Miss Joyla on Friday night of my attendance.

Since this case is pretty new to me and my family, I thought to get as much as needed information about how to help my son manage his behavior and his condition.


It was an eye opener. Things are becoming to be more real to me now. I learned a lot and hope be able to apply them all. I don't mean to be such a perfectionist, but I'm going to have to deal with an early intervention here and there's still a long way to go.

Being a parent of a child with special needs means I've been reading the wrong parenting book all along, because most parenting books are made for those parents with what they term as "normal" while my kid is considered as a person with autism. I am just glad that there are now raised awareness for children with special needs like mine.

Although my child would look normal on the outside, I have to take into consideration that its not me who is a having a hard time, but my child is. The world is too much for an autistic person like my child. Me, I grew up totally fine even in chaos. Last minute changes in plans are normal to me, I'm flexible, I can deal with it, but not my son. For a person with autism, last minute changes in the routine creates anxiety, therefore Eli will get confused.

My son has already had enough of our world, and it's my turn to get into his. A friend who teaches in special education school told me that she sees Eli as a person who is at the higher end of the spectrum. The smart ones, the one who can be trained, the ones who can excel. I'm glad she sees it that way, because the doctor has not yet labeled him anything yet from any of the ASD category which is totally fine. I also hope his future evaluations will prove that he is, because I can also see that he can.

Yesterday, while I was sitting and listening in the seminar, I thought to myself, My son is normal in his own world. He may not be perfect, but God sees him perfectly... and he is!