I'm Special

This free verse poem written in 1968 is dedicated to my birthday boy!








I'm special.

In all the world there's nobody like me.

Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like me.

Nobody has my smile. Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my hands, my voice.




I'm special.

No one can be found who has my handwriting.

Nobody anywhere has my tastes for food or music or art. No one else sees things just as I do.

In all of time there's been no one who laughs like me, no one who cries like me, and what makes me laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter and tears from anybody else, ever.

No one reacts to any situation just as I would react.




I'm special.

I'm the only one in all of creation who has my set of abilities. Oh, there will always be somebody who is better at one of the things I'm good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of my combinations of talents, ideas, abilities and feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some may excel alone, but none can match the symphony sound when all are played together. I'm a symphony. Through all of eternity no one will ever look, talk, walk, think, or do like me.


I'm special. I'm rare.

And, in all rarity there is great value. Because of my great value, I need not attempt to imitate others. I will accept -- yes, celebrate -- my differences.


I'm special.

And I'm beginning to realize it's no accident that I'm special.

I'm beginning to see that my Higher Power made me special for a very special purpose. He must have a job for me that no one else can do as well as I. Out of all the billions of applicants, only one is qualified, only one has the right combination of what it takes.


That one is me.

Because ... I'm special!




— Elizabeth Anne Richards Schurg

Advocacy

* This post is edited because I misheard my mom-in law, so I am going to correct it now. 

I apologize for hearing incorrectly

Earlier today my husband was talking to his parents over skype. While enjoying face time with their grand kids and conversing about how everybody has been, My mother-in-law told me that one of our relatives asked why I keep posting links and quotations about "autism," she has books about it and she can send me some,"  I just simply replied. "As a parent of a child with autism, nobody else will advocate for my child than his parent." 

Then we got into talking about how some autistic children have higher IQ compared to those normal kids. The difference between those who are living with the lower spectrum and those that are living with the higher spectrum etc... 

This autism thing is pretty new to me. My husband has a cousin who is living on the spectrum so maybe in their side of the family, it's just a normal thing. I don't know everything about "autism" as all this is pretty new to me, but now that I live with someone who has it, I am learning and struggling to understand some of the things that would sometimes caught me unaware like sudden meltdowns and the other autism thing that kids like Eli does. I don't think I would ever stop advocating about this just as others are advocating self-reliance, or their be-kind-to-animals, or their breastfeeding advocacy just the same.

Though there are already quite a number of people diagnosed with autism, many more are still unaware about it and would treat people with autism as disabled and at times with discrimination, which is saddening

It's not about me being wanting to be special, or have others treat my boy with entitlement because he has special needs. All I'm advocating for is acceptance, awareness and inclusivity.


I am thankful for the love and support of close friends and family members on this our journey

Eating Challenges

It's not a matter of if you don't eat that you can't have anything else. I don't understand it either, lately Eli's eating is regressing, I may not have noticed but looking back, last year, he had been hospitalized two times for not eating anything and I do not want to go through the agony of being in the hospital again looking after him for that matter.

Yesterday at school he is showing the same behavior during his recess / snack time. We were around, me and his Papa and he got so distracted he wouldn't eat. Today at breakfast lunch and dinner, I have to force feed him because I can't stand anymore that he doesn't eat. I told him that I don't want to go through another hospital stay with him if he gets sick again.

While trying to feed him tonight he was crying and screaming but no tears comes out of his eyes. I also notice that he stops screaming every after he swallows. He would just scream again when he sees that I'm preparing another spoon to put into his mouth. He is just screaming to show that he does not want to do what I wanted him to do and that is as simple as eating. I already divided his food into a total of ten spoons that he'd be able to finish but most of the rice are just a total waste especially if he pushed my hand away just so he cannot eat. It's hard and frustrating but I bet it must be harder for him since he cannot express what he wants done on the process of feeding him.

After his meal tonight,I gave him a bath and cleaned the floors of the dinning area. His teacher at school told us that we should just be on the lookout on the manipulative side of Eli's autism and that we need to reinforce his training from school to home. He is being trained to comply so he can survive.

It is another duty of mine to find out what works for him so that he can be fed.

It's Not Always Easy

Eli has been going to school for quite a while now instead of being in therapy. He's always been bright and happy and he seems to be getting into the structure and motion of school. He is also a fast learner. I'm happy for his development.

We also moved into a new apartment. The place is smaller than our previous dwelling place, but it is just right for us. We moved in with few stuff as possible, I'm so glad! Also, I realized even with the new place Eli could still get some sensory issues, there is still that screaming going on and some meltdown but it isn't as much. it only happens when I don't allow him to do just whatever he wants to do especially when it involves a whole lot of mess.

Last week, there's this lady at church who keeps talking nonsense. Eli just had a haircut which wasn't so bad. He even looked nice on his new and she told me that his cut needs to be a little more shorter. Little more shorter? is she blind how else would she want him to look? Bald? A few days later Eli lay on the pavement in front of the church gate. I motioned and told Eli as firmly as I could for him to stand up for we are going home, but this lady when she saw Eli lying on the pavement, she exclaimed."Oi Eli, anu ba naman klaseng bata ito?" which in English translation means, "Oi, Eli! What kind of child is he?" as reference to my son lying on the pavement, w have made aware of Eli's which is irritating see because I already have made people I know including her about my son's condition and yet she keeps talking to him as if my son has control over his actions of meltdowns and sensory overload.

I makes me mad that some people are insensitive matter how much you try to keep them informed. It's not always easy but as I've said, I'll be there for my son no matter what.